E. Hope

I have considered writing about a number of different topics on this blog. I ponder these subjects during the day between napping, eating and duecing. (I like this word better than popping.) Sorry..., so I think of all these deep subjects, but then the end of the day comes and I finally have time to write and I completely forget what those things were. Am I losing my mind? Have I lost my depth? I don't want to lose my depth. Wait..., did I ever have depth?

Can all I write about is Erin? Maybe the answer is yes. She fills my day. All of it. And she breathes life into me. She reminds me of hope and what it is to want something so badly it hurts. I mean really hurts. I still cry when I even for moment stop to digest the FACT that she is my daughter! I have a daughter! Truly hope is alive and lives in her very life.

I read a note to Erin from my best friend today. It made me cry... again. (Crap, how many times is that now...a bakers dozen? You'd think I could buck up a little.) I can't wait to read these notes to Erin from those who love us and her. I long for it. I hope for it.

Hope is a funny thing. Hard to describe, yet when you feel it you are intimate with it. You know it completely and it knows you back. Yet then it can disappear so quickly. How is that possible? I am so thankful I have a physical representation of hope. If hope seems distant right now... hold on. It will show itself again. Really, it will. Don't get stuck in this moment. The next one could be, will be great!

Thanks God for hope.